NaBloPoMo

Place under the heading of What the hell...? Well since I have been posting much more regularly I have definitely noticed my hit count going up. Hey, that's kinda nice. Maybe by participating in this, someone might actually start leaving a comment (say something, fer Christ's sake...).

NaBloPoMo...for people too untalented stupid lazy to participate in NaNoWriMo.

Just a few...and Happy Halloween...

Funny stuff found here and there...

May the best candidate win...

...Some kids work at McDonald's, others...

More Why Dogs Hate Halloween...

Joke Friday

Things I'm glad I didn't say:

• Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." ---Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
• "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." ---Mariah Carey
• "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." ---Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show, August 22
• "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ---David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
• "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." ---Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
• "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." ---Winston Bennett, Univ. of KY basketball forward
• "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." ---Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
• "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." ---Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
• "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." ---Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
• "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." ---Former French President Charles De Gaulle
• "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." ---A Congressional Candidate in Texas
• "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." ---Former U. S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
• "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind." ---General William Westmoreland

Love Thursday

I would like to join in with Love Thursday. I want to go back and visit something that speaks of love for me.

My mother was a very 'crafty' person. She could take a cardboard box and some string and make something fun and beautiful from it. I have a little of her talent can follow directions (I have to have a pattern or some guidance a kit). It was amazing that she could 'see' in her mind what she wanted and then she just mashed it together out of nothing and created something. We used to go to fabric and craft shops together almost every Saturday. That is one of the most vivid memories I have of my mother - wandering through the craft shops looking for the perfect piece of fabric or best ribbon or flower.

So I dedicate this Love Thursday to my mother. I can still feel her beside me whenever I go to get some embroidery floss or a skein of yarn. It makes trips to Joann's or Michael's almost a pilgrimmage.

That's why, for me, craft stores say love. A mother's love for her children for all the clothes she lovingly made for us. A mother's love for her friends for all of the corsages and centerpieces she created. A mother's love for her daughter who she instilled with a desire to create things with her hands.

I miss you, Mom.

Diversions

Just make sure your boss doesn't see you playing this little time-waster...

Too much of a good thing...

Yeah...but he was happy...

How much is enough?

I have been thinking about this for a long time. This is what B and I fight argue scream disagree have discussions about the most.

How much is enough?

I make an okay salary. It's not great, but it's okay. Yeah, I am probably underpaid, unappreciated (who isn't?) but I have a comfortable salary. I am being paid quite a bit less than at my previous job but when ya got nothin' somethin' is pretty good.

But you see, we have no debt. Let me repeat that: WE HAVE NO DEBT. We have no credit card debt, we don't have a car loan, we even own our home outright (free and clear, no mortgage). We have six months CASH in the bank (in CDs) as well as some less-accessible money market funds. We are saving for retirement (401K and IRAs) and for E's college.

B is not happy with that. He wants to find me a better-paying job. Probably Somewhere-That-Is-Not-Here.

I don't want to move. I'm not saying that I don't EVER want to move but we have moved so much in recent years that I am content to stay here for a while. E is not even 4 years old and he has already lived in 6 states. He needs some stability.

And I need to rest.

Why can't B understand that?

Of Baptisms and memories...

In honor of Tori's baptism, I will bring you memories of E's baptism.

I made his outfit out of satin (I wish I had thought to use my wedding dress. What a lovely idea...oh, well...). I embroidered a cross on front of it and there is embroidery on the collar. During the ceremony he cried all the time mommy held him. As soon as I passed him to the pastor, he stopped crying and stared. *sigh* A mother's disappointment

I. Love. This. Picture.

Joke Friday

I am instituting a new feature here at the Home - Joke Friday. So to start your weekend out right is the first installment of Joke Friday.

Mothers

Enjoy the answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions about Moms:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use a string. I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year?
3. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

Have a nice weekend.

Sleep Talk

Lotta talk lately about sleep and sleep issues.

E used to be great at sleeping in his crib. The move to his 'big boy bed' was kind of hellish hectic though.

Then I watched a Super Nanny episode in which she espoused these rules:

1. Put child to bed. Read a story. Hug. Cuddle. Kiss. Turn out light. Leave room.
When child gets up:
2. The first time the child wakes, take him/her back to bed explaining, "It's bedtime. Stay in bed, sweetie." Kiss. Tuck in. Turn out light. Leave room.
The next time the child wakes up:
3. Lead child back to bed. Do not talk to him/her. No kiss. No hug. Tuck into bed. Turn out light. Leave room.
The next time the child wakes up:
4. Lead child back to bed. Do not talk to him/her. No kiss. No hug. Tuck into bed. Turn out light. Leave room.
The next time the child wakes up:
5. Lead child back to bed. Do not talk to him/her. No kiss. No hug. Tuck into bed. Turn out light. Leave room.

...etc...

For E, the first night it took about an hour of putting him back to bed. The next night it took about 30 mins and the third night, he stayed in bed.

Then we left Albuquerque and there was six months of living in hotel rooms. Since we have been back in a house and E has had his own room, he has insisted that I sleep with him.

I'm not even sure if this will work with him at this age. He was only 2.5 years old the last time. Will this technique work on an almost 4-year old?

I just hate going through all the crying and fussing again but I really can't keep sleeping with him. I get nothing done in the evening because in spite of all my good intentions of staying with him until he falls asleep and then getting up again, half the time I wind up falling asleep anyway. And then when I do get up he invariably wakes up about 11PM throwing a fit that I am not with him.

Pah! I'm just gonna hafta bite the bullet and try what worked in the past. Crap!!

Pray for me.

Painful

I am taking a class to hopefully finish my master's degree. We had a great lesson last night.

How Not to Give a Presentation:

1. Don't know your material
2. Read, verbatim, all of your slides
3. Read from your paper anything NOT on your slides
4. Don't know your material
5. Don't speak to your slides
6. Use words you don't know
7. Don't know your material
8. Mispronounce the words you don't know
9. Don't know your material

I really felt bad for him. Especially when the professor asked him a question directly from his slides. He couldn't answer it.

It was painful.

So sad

Manuela has lost her little Shoelet.

Go give her a hug.

2006 Weasel Poll

The polls are open. Vote for the most majestic weasels of 2006. Just go to www.dilbert.com and follow the link.