Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Potty Training

In the middle of the aforementioned (is that really a word?) marital troubles, E is in the middle of potty training. Now why this is such a production, I don't know. He knows what he has to do. He even glories in every poopy he deposits into the toilet (Look, mommy! Poopy!!). We haven't had to change a poopy diaper in almost a week. Then why does he have so many accidents?

Thank god for pull-ups.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Anniversaries, and Thanksgiving, and lost jobs, oh my...

Fair warning: This post is going to be sad and depressing...

I'll start out with anniversaries. This month (November) is the anniversary of when I first started my blog. It was November 23, 2004 that I started flinging my tiny thoughts out into the internet ether. Now I never thought I would become Dooce, or Tertia or grrl, but I thought I might have a few people who tuned in on my less-than-regularly scheduled brain farts. I just wish someone would leave a comment or two. *sigh* I feel as though I am talking to myself. I will keep plugging away because I am just foolish that way. But, hey! If you're out there, gimme some feedback already!!

Geez, what a whiner I am. There are starving people in the world without internet access at all!! There are even poor people who must use dial-up. DIAL-UP!

Poor buggers...

Okay, on to Thanksgiving. This must rank as one of the crappiest Thanksgiving holidays I have ever had the misfortune to experience. My marriage has passed from merely being unpleasant to being depressing and horrible. We need some serious marriage counselling and B seriously needs a class in anger management.

Which brings me to lost jobs. B has cost me yet another job. He sent an email to my last employer which cost me my job and I had an excellent interview on Tuesday before the holiday and was basically told that I had the job. They just wanted me to meet the big boss today before I got the big okay and could start. B sent an email (representing himself as me as he often does) and the agency called early this morning and cancelled the interview and the job opportunity. Lovely.

I am seriously depressed and sad. Marriage ending (possibly), jobless, Christmas approaching...

Crying now...god could it get any worse...??

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Stupid criminals

I have been reading a lot recently about stupid criminals. First there was the murderer in Texas who walked out of jail using a fake ID. I know, I know, you are saying to yourself, 'What's stupid about that?' Well at first glance this seems pretty clever. All the guy did to disguise his ID was to put a piece of tape over the word 'Inmate' on his own badge, change into some clothes a friend had hidden in the john and waltz out of jail. He even had the audacity to tell a guard that he was "conducting an inspection with the Attorney General's office." HAHAHA, what idiots! This guy is a genius!

But wait a second, Rocco. He only had to be smarter than prison guards. Not exactly rocket scientists. Just to prove to everyone that he was Not So Smart he was caught a few days later, drunk, outside the liquor store doing nothing to hide his identity.

"Hey, Officer! I'm on Death Row! I just wanted some Jack Daniels. Aren't I entitled to a last drink? Or are you afraid alcohol would shorten my lifespan? BWAHAHAHAH!!"


Then there was the woman who stole a $2000 bird by hiding said bird in her bra and then tried to buy a car using the bird. That was dumb enough, but then she told the used car dealer that she was buying a car with a stolen bird.

This whole scenario raises a few questions in my mind. First of all, when she put the bird in her bra, did the little guy make no sound? And where did she place the object for which the bra was made? I took physics. I know you can't have two things in the same place at the same time. WHERE WAS HER BOOB?

And secondly...okay, I know that used car dealers are not exactly the most scrupulous of people but you've gotta be a special kind of stupid to tell someone you are buying something using stolen merchandise.



My sides are aching now.