Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Stupid criminals

I have been reading a lot recently about stupid criminals. First there was the murderer in Texas who walked out of jail using a fake ID. I know, I know, you are saying to yourself, 'What's stupid about that?' Well at first glance this seems pretty clever. All the guy did to disguise his ID was to put a piece of tape over the word 'Inmate' on his own badge, change into some clothes a friend had hidden in the john and waltz out of jail. He even had the audacity to tell a guard that he was "conducting an inspection with the Attorney General's office." HAHAHA, what idiots! This guy is a genius!

But wait a second, Rocco. He only had to be smarter than prison guards. Not exactly rocket scientists. Just to prove to everyone that he was Not So Smart he was caught a few days later, drunk, outside the liquor store doing nothing to hide his identity.

"Hey, Officer! I'm on Death Row! I just wanted some Jack Daniels. Aren't I entitled to a last drink? Or are you afraid alcohol would shorten my lifespan? BWAHAHAHAH!!"


Then there was the woman who stole a $2000 bird by hiding said bird in her bra and then tried to buy a car using the bird. That was dumb enough, but then she told the used car dealer that she was buying a car with a stolen bird.

This whole scenario raises a few questions in my mind. First of all, when she put the bird in her bra, did the little guy make no sound? And where did she place the object for which the bra was made? I took physics. I know you can't have two things in the same place at the same time. WHERE WAS HER BOOB?

And secondly...okay, I know that used car dealers are not exactly the most scrupulous of people but you've gotta be a special kind of stupid to tell someone you are buying something using stolen merchandise.



My sides are aching now.

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