PG-rated swear words

Was thinking the other day about swear words (obviously I have too much time on my hands). I have a child now and although I was never a real big cusser (it still makes me uncomfortable to actually say the 'f' word...although I can write it: fuck - see?), I think that I have to stop saying at least the Big Ones: shit, damn and hell. And the 'f' word, of course, fuck (heh...that probably upped my hit count...).

I should probably also cut out fart and bitch. I use them way too much. Someone once said that adding a yummy food group after a derogatory makes it less dirty. Terms such as:

• twatwaffle
• cuntpickle
• skankmuffin
• whorecracker

are funnier than they are dirty.

The word 'douche', while itself not really a dirty word becomes funny/demeaning/dirty when different beginnings or endings are added:

• douchewizzle
• douchebag
• douche canoe
• douchefish
• flaming douchebag
• douche-a-rooney

Adding 'knocker' after words makes them funny/dirty:

• fartknocker
• bitchknocker
• doucheknocker

The word 'crap' (which I would not consider particularly dirty seems to have made some list at my 7-year old's school as he chastised me for using it the other day) lends itself to adding an interesting ending as in:

• craptastic
• crapalicious
• crappity crap crap
  

I have always loved "smarmy bastard." It just seems to roll off the tongue (e.g. "...he was such a smarmy bastard I simply wanted to hurl..."). Lately "batshit crazy" has been a favorite of mine as well.

These are not really swear words, but they are funny:

• dillweed
• dorkfish

Okay, now I have shared some of my favorites, I wanna hear some more...anyone?