House Hunting or The Impossible Dream

We are house hunting. I am totally sick of it by now and am ready to buy a cardboard box under the Fremont Bridge just to put an end to it.

The problem is, well, B, of course. He has dreams. I had dreams too once. I dreamed of being 5’9” and weighing 125 pounds (okay, I knew there would never be a 5’9” in my future unless I bought a fica tree and as for the other dream…well I would settle for simply weighing what my driver’s license says I do).

If I can give up my dreams, why can’t he bend a little on his?

B (whining): I want a lakefront lot!!!

S: Why?

B: So I can launch my boat from our backyard.

S: Huh? When did we get a boat?

B: That way I can waterski!!

S: I have known you for almost 20 years and I have never seen you waterski.

B: E will be able to go boating whenever he wants.

S: He isn’t even 3 yet. He can’t even ride a bicycle.

B: How about a saltwater lot? Can we get something on the Sound?

S: Do you have some extra money stashed somewhere?

You have to keep in mind that anything with even an inch on the water will probably double the price of your home. Even a view of the water will probably add at least fifty thousand.

S: I just want a house.

B: How about this 7 acres for $350,000.

S: I just want a house.

B: How about this lot for $189,000. I can build us a house.

S (mumbles to self): ...and in about 10 years there might be a foundation poured: (aloud) I just want a house.

B: Hey! Look at this! I found 40 acres for just $600,000. We can subdivide it! We’ll get our house for free!!

S (slitting wrists): AAAAGHGHGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!