Friday, February 25, 2005

Good enough

From Chez Miscarriage :

The empirical literature on childhood risk and resilience has now confirmed Winnicott's original theory of "good enough" mothering: if a child is exposed to adequate parenting - not perfect parenting, not parenting that demands stewed organic peas for dinner every night, not parenting that requires a flurry of maternal solicitation at the first sign of whimpering discontent, just reasonably good parenting - the child's development will not be impeded or hindered. Human beings are a resilient, hardy lot. If children needed an obsessed parent's dialted pupils to be fixed on them all day in order to thrive, the human race would have died out long ago.
I'm not perfect. Nothing I do now is perfect; nothing I have ever done is perfect; I suspect that nothing I ever will do will ever be perfect.

That being said, I am good enough. Getupgrrl has been posting on 'good enough parenting' on her weblog. That is me. I am a 'good enough' mother. I bought the book on making your own baby food...but we used Gerber's (or whatever). Good enough. I breastfed my son...but supplemented with formula and stopped at six months (he had teeth! and he used them!!). Good enough. I am a working mom so he spends his days in daycare (hey! we've gotta eat!! we've gotta pay the mortgage!). Good enough.

Any 'drive-by mother' comments? I don't care. I have been 'driven-by' by my MIL enough to last my lifetime (she sent me a ten-page letter on my birthday full of criticism). I am immune to criticism. My son is beautiful and happy and healthy.

And very, very loved.

Good enough.

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