Thursday, January 27, 2005

Car Rant

As I have said before, my car is a piece of crap. I am trying to teach E to say 'piece of crap.' It sounds more like 'meow.' Anyway, it really reeks.

First of all, it is old. Now I really have nothing against old cars. I loved my little 1990 Toyota Celica. If it hadn't died, I would still be driving it tho' E's carseat didn't fit in it too well. It had almost 230,000 miles on it and still looked fine, cute, red, and sleek. Unfortunately the engine died. Okay, I killed it!!! I hate that I did that!!! I still kick my lazy ass for that. My cute little car... But I digress. I do not hate old cars. Just this old car.

It is a 1993 Ford Thunderbird; black (or some dark color that I can't quite figure out; green? purple?). First of all, it has no CUP HOLDER. WTF??? What car made after 1985 has no cup holder? Where am I supposed to put my water bottle? My latte? My freakin' coca-cola? Piece of crap.

Secondly, things now no longer function on it. Valuable things, like the driver's window. And air conditioning. Have you ever lived in the middle of a desert (Tucson, AZ) with NO AIR CONDITIONING and you CAN'T EVEN OPEN THE WINDOW!!? In a black (green? purple?) car??? Can you say 'hot?' I think you can. Not to mention that going to a drive-through or paying a toll is a major pain in the butt. Piece of crap.

Other things no longer function either, like the tape player. It ate one of my tapes.

Pieces are continually falling off of it. Almost every day another little piece of plastic snaps off of this piece of crap. The other day the entire interior of the driver's door came off. You know, the upholstered part that gets attached to the metal outside part? Well, only the wires were holding this part onto the door. It became impossible to close the driver's door from the inside. I had to climb over the console until I took the armrest off and wrenched the piece of crap off of the door. It is now leaning against the garage (the interior door stuff, not the car).

And that annoying bell thing that dings when you don't fasten your seat belt? Well it dings. Constantly. Ding! Ding! Ding! Constantly. It positively drives me CRAZY!

And the headlights won't stay on. As a matter of fact, if you somehow happen to get them to stay on, they will go off at some almost-certain inopportune time. And only the high beams work. Which means that some annoying little pain-in-the-ass will probably flick his high beams at you to tell you that you have your high beams on. I KNOW THAT, ASSHOLE!!

B says we don't need a new car. The engine is fine.

Oh. And the 'Check Engine' light has been on since B got back from Tucson.

Piece of crap.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

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