Darwin at work

We should all be thankful that this guy removed himself from the gene pool.  Hopefully he hadn't yet procreated.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Okay. Now I think this is funny. Please tell me that I am not the only one. I don't think I would mind having him in the seat next to me. Here are my reasons:

• He wouldn't hog the armrest
• I could steal his airline meal (if they still served these)
• I could steal his peanuts
• I could order extra drinks for him (and then drink them myself)
  
• ...and charge his credit card
• He wouldn't talk to me when I wanted to read/sleep/space out

...seems like the perfect seatmate to me.

Find a New Line of Work...

Seriously.

Stupid criminals such as the guy who wrote his note on his own pay stub. Or the one who showed the teller his ID. And, uh, (seriously this should be obvious), don't log into Facebook from a computer in the house you are in the midst of burgling.

Another tip. Try to find a better disguise than writing on your face. It didn't fool your mother when you were a kid and it ain't fooling anyone now. Oh, and duct tape? Not a good disguise either.

And, please...don't disguise yourself as trees. Talk about something straight from Monty Python (although the fellas probably said to themselves...naaah, this is too crazy even for us...). It was funny on Get Smart, but just really pathetic in real life.

They left something out of the last line of that article:

Manchester cops described the man as a white male, between 45 and 50 years old, wearing glasses and a blue shirt...

...and foliage.

Animals Attack

Racoons and Tigers and Bears, oh my!

You just can't make this stuff up...

Moms, don't let your sons grow up to be IDIOTS!!!

...or marry crazy ladies...

...or be stupid criminals.

Lotsa stupidity around.

Idiots

What were these parents thinking? What total idiots. They were obviously trying to make some stupid 'statement' without regard for their son. Before giving their child this stupid name they should have thought of how he will be treated growing up. This is an adorable child. He will have a hard time growing up until he changes his name (which he probably will).

These parents should be horsewhipped.

Keep It Going

Meaningless drivel to keep up with the "Post Every Day" crap...

Yeah, it involved alcohol...

What's going on Down Under this week...?

And, finally..."The squirrel is my savior, I shall not want..."

Huh? What?

Sensational? Yeah, I guess.

I still trying to understand why she named her dog Booger.

Found Today on the Internet

I'm sorry, but that ain't art.

And wouldn't a legless lizard be a snake?

I think I'll pass on this.

You knew alcohol was involved, didn't you?

And finally...I wouldn't, but it's for science!

A bit of advice...

If you are planning on having, um, 'relations' with your garden furniture, drag it inside the house first.

(I could barely restrain my laughter at this. Make sure you watch the video. It will give you a mind picture difficult to forget.)

In the news...

Ummm, yeah. Cleanup on aisle 6.

Tidbit in the news...

I put myself through college (largely) as a waitress. A job I hated. Customers treat waitresses like they wouldn't treat a dog. But as much as I hated it and thought some of the customers should think twice since I had direct contact with your food and could add any number of non-food items to your dish, I never did this.

Okay, now everyone, Oh, noooooo!

We interrupt this program...

If this is fat....

...then I'm a fucking water buffalo...

...stoned maybe; but SOOOO not fat...

========
P.S - Shame on you, Glamour magazine. Why oh why did you have to graft America Ferrera's beautiful face onto Mr. Thrifty?

Funny news of the Day

Holy, creepy corpse, Batman! This guy is channelling Norman Bates.

...and I though I was lazy...

She's out!!

Paris Hilton has vowed that she will "no longer act dumb" because because that’s "not who I am." She says she’s worried about all the young girls who view her as a role model.

Ummm...'view her as a role model???' A role model? You've gotta be kidding. Oprah Winfrey is a role model. Grace Hopper is a role model. Condoleeza Rice and Sally Ride are role models.

Paris Hilton? So not a role model. She never finished high school. College? Yeah, right. She has no job skills; the only job she held for more than a year was a TV show where she acted stupid and stuck up. She gets arrested for driving drunk. Then she gets stopped twice for driving with a suspended license and spends 23 days in jail.

If your daughter is using her for a role model then she needs a serious walloping up the side of the head. And you probably need one too.

Andrew Carnegie was once asked what was the easiest way to become rich. He said 'Pick your parents wisely.'

Okay. That was one thing that Paris did correctly.

People are Stupid

Yes, they are. Sorry, cannot even imagine blowing that kind of money on a birthday party. So far, for E's birthdays, the most we have done is buy a cake at Kroger's.

When I was growing up, I think I remember having one birthday party. Yes. One. My brothers? None.

B's brother has dropped megabucks on his kid's birthdays with blowup bounce parties, clowns, etc. He is a real "keeping up with the Jones'" kind of person.

Personally I don't give a rat's ass about the Jones' or anyone else. I am so anti-competitive it is scary.

So far, my son has been to one birthday party. Much of the reason for that is because we have moved so much that E has not had the chance to make friends with any kids having birthdays. Maybe next year we will have something more than just cake with Mommy and Daddy.

But $50,000? Are you freaking kidding me?

Bad Blogger!

Well I totally failed at the NaNoWhateverTheHellItWas, but I am going to try to redeem myself by posting every day from this day forward on until the end of the month.

Yeah. Right.

Found an interesting shopping site on the web: The Vermont Country Store. Their motto: "Purveyors of the Practical and Hard-toFind." Somehow I think that this doesn't fit into the category of 'practical' but it would definitely be hard-to-find...perhaps there is a reason...it is STUPID!!!!

Sheesh...some people must have a lot of money they don't know what to do with.

Overdue Election news...

...and in election news, yeah, sure the Democrats took the house; they took the Senate, Rumsfeld was kicked out was fired resigned but I think this was the most interesting race. What has me wondering about this particular race is what was the motivation of the electorate? Were they most influenced by:

• Love of the candidate elected,
• Loathing of the candidate defeated,
• Being fed up with their choices or
• Perhaps they did not realize that THEIR CANDIDATE IS DEAD!!!

Kinda makes me long for a hanging chad or two.

Marking time

Not much to say today. I am working on a couple of things but just haven't finished them yet.

Sheesh, this posting something every day is tougher than you may think...okay it ain't standing on the business end of a shovel or carrying barbells up to the attic but right now I'm tired and just want to go to bed but I still feel compelled (I did make a vow after all) to post something today.

Okay, how about a link to something funny?

Anyone need a job?

Wait! One more (I couldn't resist...).

Lest I forget...

Okay, so the man complained of constipation...more EWWWW.

And, one more thing...just in case I do miss a day's posting this month, there's a reason.